We were the 1st same-sex couple to legally marry in Manitoba — but we fear that right could be taken away
'The fight isn't over,' write Stefphany Cholakis and Michelle Ritchot, who legally married in 2004
This First Person article reflects the experiences of Stefphany Cholakis and Michelle Ritchot, the first legally married same-sex couple in Manitoba. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see this FAQ. You can read more First Person articles here.
Sept. 16, 2004. That is the day the courts declared that same-gender marriage was legal in Manitoba. We were there, alongside two other couples fighting for marriage rights. The legal challenge was headed by Egale Canada, a nationwide organization that fights for equal rights of 2SLGBTQIA+ people.
After the court ruling, we went to the revolving restaurant behind the Hotel Fort Garry for lunch to celebrate. As we were eating lunch, having won the case, it suddenly dawned upon us — let’s get married!
We called our friend Don Bowler, a marriage commissioner, and asked him if he would come to the restaurant and marry us. He was there right away and officiated a simple ceremony.
There were a couple of witnesses but no fanfare. We were elated to be the first same-gender couple to say "I do" in Manitoba.
We raced over to the Manitoba Vital Statistics Branch and applied for an official marriage licence, where they actually waived the regular 24-hour waiting period for us. Amazing! We were indeed the first couple of the same gender to legally marry in Manitoba.
That moment was the culmination of years of hard work, protests, contacting politicians of all stripes and taking part in legal challenges across the country.
We received support from all kinds of people — friends, family and strangers.- Michelle Ritchot and Stefphany Cholakis
Before this, despite being in a committed relationship since 1992, and even having a commitment ceremony in 1999, in the eyes of the law, we were just "friends." We were not partners who had built a life and a love together. We were not the next of kin in medical situations.
If something happened to one of us, our families could come into our home and take whatever they wanted — including the house — and it was all legal. We witnessed this happen, first-hand, on numerous occasions, amongst our friends.
But on this day, our wedding day, it seemed like the long fight for marriage equality, that difficult and often scary road, was over. Or so we thought.
You’d think that everything would be smooth sailing, having a brand new marriage certificate in our files.
And in a way, it was. We went back to our lives. The media coverage was across Canada. We received support from all kinds of people — friends, family and strangers alike.
But we also received quite a bit of backlash from all kinds of people. And we realized we couldn’t give up the advocacy. Because at the time, while our marriage was recognized in some provinces, it still wasn’t recognized in others.
That finally changed in the summer of 2005, when, in response to numerous legal and societal challenges, the federal government passed the Civil Marriage Act, making same-gender marriage legal across Canada.
Even then, however, it didn’t mean that equal marriage, or even being 2SLGBTQ+, was accepted by the people.
Prejudice and bigotry are being expressed more openly these days.- Stefphany Cholakis and Michelle Ritchot
Even today, the stigma still exists. We now watch the United States and Alberta trying to make laws that deny our trans and non-binary friends of their human rights.
Prejudice and bigotry are being expressed more openly these days. And we feel that we are just one election away from losing our hard-fought rights. With one stroke of a pen, our right to marry whom we love could be taken from us.
December 2025 marked the 20th anniversary of same-gender marriage equality across Canada. The Rainbow Resource Centre in Winnipeg reached out to us, to see if we would be honorary guests at the Queerly Beloved Gala.
At the gala, the Hon. Uzoma Asagwara, deputy premier of Manitoba and minister responsible for health, seniors and long-term care, officiated the renewal of our wedding vows. We were overjoyed to be a part of this extraordinary event.
But the fight is not over.
We will continue to keep a watchful eye on the politics of the day. We will also continue to support 2SLGBTQIA+ organizations, and we will be there for today’s youth, who are continuing the fight for equality.