What does it mean if your ex-boyfriends love Anna Karenina?
Heather O'Neill revisited the classic Tolstoy novel to find new meaning after a life change
All but one of Heather O'Neill's ex-boyfriends loved Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. After a bad breakup, she decided to re-read the classic to see what she could learn.
"I really felt the impact of what it would be like not to have a choice," O'Neill said. "What if I was in a situation where I had to endure this emotional abuse and infidelity? What if I had to stay in it? And I cried. I cried more for Anna than I did for myself."
The Montreal novelist, short story writer and essayist's books include The Girl Who Was Saturday Night, Daydreams of Angels, When We Lost our Heads and The Lonely Hearts Hotel. She also won Canada Reads 2024, championing The Future by Catherine Leroux, translated by Susan Ouriou.
I cried more for Anna than I did for myself.- Heather O'Neill
O'Neill stopped by The Next Chapter with Antonio Michael Downing and reflected on how reading the book the second time reframed her outlook on life and love.
"When I first read it, I was in college and I was learning how to read. I was introduced to all the themes and it was about the idea of modernism and Russia entering the modern period," she said.
O'Neill said at that time, she focused on how Karenina was rejected and ostracized — but when she re-read it, she had a different perspective because of new life experience.
"I had been in a relationship, and it was the first time that someone had been unfaithful [to me]. I had never really lived through that. I didn't understand what that does to the human body. This was the one ex-boyfriend who had never read Anna Karenina; I almost feel like there was a lesson in Anna Karenina about what infidelity does to a person's character."
Her own experience caused her to read the book in a new light, paying more attention to the infidelity after experiencing it herself.
"I went to the book and immediately, for the first time, I was looking at the male characters and the idea that within Russian society at that time, men were allowed to be unfaithful. It was expected."
"So, either you marry a young man and he's going to cheat on you and you deal with it as a woman and it breaks you down and you cry and throw things around; or, you marry an older man who has already had these years as a bachelor and this sordid sexual past and then he'll be calmed down.
"Every single man we're introduced to in Anna Karenina is a cheater," she said.
The teachings of Tolstoy
O'Neill said that the greatest change in her reading of the book was that when she first read the book, she just marveled at the world Tolstoy made, his descriptions of balls and skating and the way he created beauty and an "aesthetic spectacle" on the page.
Breaking down the plot, O'Neill said that, in Anna Karenina, Anna is "the most popular woman in Moscow. She's so revered by everyone for her sensitivity to people's feelings. She's able to talk to anyone and her intelligence and grace just charms all of society.
"Anna's married to an older man, Karenin, who's very influential. He's in government. They have a son and they're doing smashingly in society.
"Anna is the character we think is impenetrable. She's just morally virtuous and then in walks Vronsky, this young prince who has an effect on women. All the women are smitten by him because he knows how to perform in a way that tricks women. He is what we would call today a love bomber."
He is what we would call today a love bomber.- Heather O'Neill
Anna then leaves her husband and family to begin a "scandalous affair" with Vronsky, O'Neill said. They are ostracized by the community and Anna accepts this as a necessary consequence of her love but, after a short while, Vronsky starts to cheat on Anna.
When this occurs, Anna realizes that she no longer has Vronsky's love, her husband's love, or her children's love and kills herself because she feels that she has nowhere to go.
When she reached this point, O'Neill said she saw the similarities to her own relationship and "I left immediately and just rebuilt myself. I had choices and then I really felt the impact of what it would be like not to have a choice.
"Books are magical things," O'Neill said. "I don't think books entirely belong to their authors. Sometimes you create a character and the character does not belong to you. When you read this book, Anna somehow has escaped Tolstoy, and it's like the character of Anna Karenina has become better than him.
Books are magical things. I don't think books entirely belong to their authors. Sometimes you create a character and the character does not belong to you.- Heather O'Neill
"Whenever we talk about the book, we're only really interested in Anna Karenina, and we don't care about the Tolstoy parts.
"She is still here — and we are still on Anna's side."
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